If I could have entered my admin page for the past few months I would have wrote about:

— Leyla Gencer’s funeral: the first time I witnessed the scattering of ashes to the Bosphorus. You would have thought it would be a cliché in this city but because there is no way out of a religious funeral in this country it rarely happens. Plus the choir singing at Dolmabahce by the sea during the funeral was heavenly and made me decide there should be a concert right at that spot, at least once in a while.

— Our trip to Holland: Staying at a flat on the red light district with prostitutes as neighbours and the incredible Hilversum: suburban gothic in the Netherlands style.

— Demonstration and march against the closing of Lambda: which is the one and only lgbtt (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual) organisation at Istanbul. The courts have decided that the organisation is against “moral values”. Since the march was from Taksim to Odakule on Istiklal street, basically on a route I walk every day, there was much to tell that could be made to bear on what I had already mentioned.

— Mine’s fortieth birthday party: the party was at a place that has just opened at Cihangir (where I live) and had a name and a theme: “Every body wants to become Mine” which meant you were supposed to come dressed like Mine and since she has a very distinctive style that she has not altered the least, in the last 20 years I have known her, this actually was not that difficult and created a very weird doppelganger effect.

— The book I read: The Stone Gods by Jeannette Winterson. Winterson is a genius; but I already knew that. Now she has gone and written a poetic and romantic novel about a subject, you know needs to be addressed, but also think is impossible to address, at least, not without becoming cliché and boring and pretentious etc: the end of the world through both war and global warming. Beautifully written wonderfully and intricately structured.

— The stand-up show of Esmeray: I finally saw the notorious stand-up show of Esmeray who is a M2F pre-opt transsexual, as part of the gay pride week festivities at the French Cultural Center. She basically tells her life that starts in a village at Kars and continues in Istanbul with the compulsory prostitution and the unexpected party politics. It was both funny and sad and thought provoking.

— The LGBTT Party at Ghetto: managed to catch one of the many parties that was thrown during the gay pride week. This one had DJ Ipek who, I have come to believe ,manages to spin out the most danceable music I have ever heard. The party was also notable for Seyhan’s outrageous costumes. I especially enjoyed the white one in which she went around the entire dance hall and looked down on people with her icy queen pose. Also of notice was Baran’s strip-tease show which was definitly the best strip-tease I have ever seen.

— The Gay Pride Parade: I refused to wear a hat since hat and eyeglasses give the impression that you are not “out and proud” but rather trying to hide and of course it was very hot so I nearly got a sun stroke. But apart from that it was FUN!!!! We screamed our hearts out and walked from Taksim to Odakule.

And the last two, which is watching Ismail Necmi’s film at his studio and the zazen session we had with two Zen master’s that came all the way from San Fransisco to our house, I will try to write as separate entries.

breaking news from the 1st of may events

OK so the events have come literally to our doorstep.
First we started to hear the slogans around 13.00. Then at 13.30 we learned that nine of our friends among which are Gencay, Aykan and Inanc (all of whom I have already mentioned at this blog on various occasions) were taken into custody. They are now inside some police buses on an entirely different part of the city. They say there is something like 10 busloads of people like them and believe the police will let them go come nightfall. They haven’t taken away their cell phones and we can talk with them.
Then at 14.15 the sounds became deafening and as we went to look we saw people in groups running into our street; running away from the police by the looks of it, though we saw none. As we were looking out of the window two of our friends, Gozde and Nadir (both have been mentioned before on various occasions) passed underneath our window and waved to us as they did. (How weird is that?) We asked if they would like to come up but they were determined to go on. Then the smoke came and before I could even say, “beware pepper gas”, both Seda and me inhaled it. We closed the windows immediately as our nostrils began to burn. There is also a red spot on my hand that itches and all this from minimal exposure.
The crowd has passed our street now. But by the looks of it, people are all over the place in groups of 50 or so, scattering and remerging where they can. It is far from over.

Taksim Square on the 1st of May

So it’s the first of May and the weather outside is beautiful, a perfect spring morning. I am sitting in my study with the windows open and listening to the birds chirping as I write. The peaceful quite is shattered every now and then with the sound of a helicopter overhead or the sound of police sirens in the distance.
I live very near Taksim Square: 10 minutes rapid walk, 15 minutes maximum if you really take it slow. Taksim Square is closed down and the entire police force of the city, plus some from the neighbouring cities, is there en masse. They are “defending” the Square from the workers who want to reach it. To the best of my knowledge pepper gas and water have prevented them from doing so until now. However my knowledge is very limited since I do not have a television. I check the internet for news updates every now and then. A lot of my friends intended to join the demonstration attempt and I am worried.
It is weird to be so close and so far away but it would have felt even weirder to sit so close and watch the events from television. Despite everything, this is exactly the kind of time when I am happy that I don’t have access to TV. Officially today is not a holiday however the entire city is closed down, no ferries, no schools, no one going to work. Seda is watching “Desperate Housewives” on DVD and I am reading Patrick Califia’s book: “Speaking Sex to Power”. I am aware that this seems a form of escapism and I also know friends who would consider our activities of this morning a scandal.
I am not going to go into detail about the reasons behind my determination not be caught up in what is obviously a deliberate attempt to build tension to the point of catastrophe. Or how I regard being glued to the TV, learning what’s going on around the corner from the dubious news, as the worst form of escapism, a flight into paralysing anxiety, a form of vampirism. Nor do I feel the need to elaborate on why I think there is no point in joining the demonstrators unless you are part of an organisation and my belief that only organised forms of resistance has any meaning. These are prickly subjects that create never-ending arguments, which in the end are futile. Suffice to say that this is the first time I have let a news item become the subject of my blog, although I was tempted a while ago, when Pippa Bacca was raped and murdered. I have a strong urge to think and express my thoughts on things when they are not the pressing news item and when there is not too much emotion involved. So I hope to come back to elaborate on such points when people will seem to have forgotten all about them and 38 years of life has given me ample evidence that forget they will and sooner rather than later.